I’m so scared of being the disappointment in life that it is hard for me to take risks. Sure everyone sees racing as a risk taker, but I don’t. I don’t trust myself because of my past. I I try so hard to move forward, but someday I realize that it is impossible. I see you around town and I flash back to when we were together. About how you stole my teenage years. About how you are STILL messing with my life. How could you do that to me? What did I EVER do to you? I gave you everything!
I want to prove to you that I am strong! I want to prove to you that you didn’t hurt me. That I don’t think about you.
But the truth is, is that you’re the one that I have night mares about sometimes. Your the one that terrifies me. Even after all this time, you still almost ruined one of the most important relationships in my life!
I have been terrified of you. Hated you. But now, I just feel bad for you.
I know that you will never be as happy as I am now. You will forever be alone and I really hope, and wish for that. Because no one ever deserves what you did to me, to happen to them.
You will never be out of my life, but I deserve to be happy with someone who loves me and treats me the way that every girl wants. To be treated like they are actually loved.